Genesis 38:12: “After a long time Judah’s wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had recovered from his grief, he went up to Timnah, to the men who were shearing his sheep, and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went with him.”
A burial procession went out from Kezib and followed a winding trail through the foothills of Elah Valley. They came to a halt near an unassuming burial cave. They had reached Judah’s family tomb. Previously, his late sons Er and Onan had been buried there; now his beloved wife was about to join them. Her remains were carried into the cave. After the ceremony everybody left, but Judah chose to stay behind. He cried out to the Lord: “When will my suffering be enough?”
In Judah’s mind the Lord was punishing him for his past sins. He prayed: “Yes – I have caused my father a lot of pain. I am guilty of that. After all, it was my idea to sell Joseph to the slave traders. Believe me, I have regretted it ever since!” He grabbed some dust from the ground and let it fall on his head, his hair and his beard. Ripping his tunic, he sobbed: “Will You ever forgive me? Will You ever have mercy on me? Why do my wife and children have to suffer for my sins?”
As Judah left the gravesite he couldn’t help but wonder whether his prayers were actually received or just bouncing off the walls.
Word had reached Tamar about Judah’s loss and the big funeral he had organized for his wife. “Why wasn’t I invited to sit Shiva with his family and friends?” Tamar asked her father. “Am I not part of Judah’s family?” – “Dear child!” her father sighed, “Unfortunately for you, two dead husbands is not to your favor. Behind our backs people in the village call you ‘the black Widow.’ They think that you have killed both your husbands through witchcraft.” Horrified, Tamar shook her head and said: “But you know that this is not true!” With a tired expression on his face her father replied: “It does not matter what I believe. This is what people think. And from what I gather, Judah will probably not let you marry his youngest son any time soon.”
Tamar stared at her hands. She had worked her fingers to the bone in her father’s house. Her mother had passed away at a young age and now she was expected to raise her siblings and run her father’s household. Comfortable with his eldest daughter taking care of everything, his father wasn’t too keen on marrying her to a new suitor. He gave his daughter a soft shove and said: “Now go and make yourself useful. Call your little brothers and sisters inside and prepare us some food.”
Several months later springtime arrived and so did the sheep shearing season. A significant local event, Hirah encouraged his friend Judah to partake in the festivities. “Come on, old friend! You have mourned long enough. You need to get out and get in touch with life again.”
Judah winced at his friend’s words. Apparently, he acted more and more like his old father who had been inconsolable at the loss of his son and wife. “Thanks so much for inviting me”, he quickly said. “And you are absolutely right – I need to get out more.” Hirah winked at him and said: “Now that’s the Judah I know!” And soon the two men were on their way to Timnah.
Meanwhile, Tamar was told that her father-in-law was on his way to the sheep shearing event in Timnah. “You know what this means”, her friend Eden said to her. Tamar dryly stated: “It means that my father-in-law has ended his mourning period and now he is officially out and about to let off some steam. – Funny how men can do that while I’m stuck at home. My mourning period never ends.” Her friend looked at her with compassion and said: “It does not have to stay this way. You could take matters into your own hands.” Tamar looked at her friend and waited for something more. “What do you mean?” she said. At the same time a realization hit her and she blushed. “Take matters into my own hands?!” she exclaimed, “What are you trying to say, Eden?”
Eden had been Tamar’s best friend since childhood. Taking a seat beside her she wrapped an arm around her shoulder and said: “I know that life has not been kind to you, I get that. But if you want to change your circumstances you need to take your chances.” Tamar smiled a bitter smile and Eden continued: “Obviously, Judah is unwilling to offer Shelah’s hand in marriage to you. However, you could trick him into giving you a son – by sleeping with him. Disguise yourself as a prostitute and see if he falls for you.” Tamar’s face looked tired as she considered her options. “But what if Judah recognizes me?” she objected and Eden suggested: “You must not take off your veil at any time.”
“Of course not,” said Tamar slightly irritated, “I’m not stupid.” And her friend readily admitted: “There are great risks involved, yes. And nobody can make this decision for you. Ultimately, it’s your choice.”
Tamar thought about her dire situation. Presently, her reputation was tarnished. People already thought of her a witch. She knew that public opinion would quickly turn against her in the event that she was found guilty of prostitution. “I have to secure an undeniable proof that Judah is involved. Still – there is a good chance that I get killed. But rather dying trying than being stuck for the rest of my life!” she thought. So she made up her mind and nodded. “I will do this under one condition,” she said to her friend, “I will need to borrow some of your clothes since I have nothing good to wear.” Eden offered her hand to Tamar. “Come with me,” she said, “I have an emerald green robe with matching veil that will suit the occasion.”